Tips to improve your assertiveness at work

Tips to improve your assertiveness at work

Assertiveness is a talent frequently mentioned in communal and communiqué skills training. Over and over again assertiveness is muddled with aggressiveness. Assertive folk’s ambition is to neither be passive nor hostile in their interfaces with other people.

Even though everybody acts in unreceptive and belligerent ways but such ways of retorting are often a consequence from dearth of self-confidence.

Non – assertiveness may be seen as ineffective use of communication skills; whereas assertiveness reflects a composed reaction.

In other words, if I have to pronounce assertiveness, it is standing up for your rights, such as articulating your views, mental state and philosophies in authentic and apposite ways. Assertiveness is an imperative quality to express, while keeping in consideration other peoples opinions, emotional state and principles of the populaces.

Assertiveness empowers an individual to act in their own best interests, to stand up for themselves without unnecessary apprehension, to express candid frame of mind at ease and to express peculiar rights without repudiating the rights of others.

Difference between Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive

Passive: There a lot of individuals who cannot say no and hence instead of directly saying ‘no’ to the individual, they prefer giving a passive response. Being Passive marks in fiasco to connect views or mental state and results in people doing things they do not want to do in the anticipation that they might gratify others. If an individual is passive in his communication skills, it is quite often observed that they allow others to take the responsibility, lead and make decisions for them.

By retorting submissively, you are more inclined to depict yourself in deleterious light or make yourself inferior from others.

Example of being passive:

“I will need your help in cooking, will you help me out”

Your response while being Passive
“Ya, I will but first I’ll leave my kids to school, finish my household chores and then will I come and help you”
Wherein, you could have easily said, “no I have other chores to be completed, I am sorry”

Aggressive: Aggressive responses include a variety of behaviours like

• Hastening someone superfluously

• Telling rather than requesting

• Flouting

• Not considering other people’s emotional state

Decent interactive skills mean you ought to be attentive of the different ways of interacting and the diverse reactions each line of attack might incite. If you are an aggressive person, you fail to understand other people’s feelings as well as their thought process. Manipulation can be seen as a clandestine form of belligerence while absurdity can also be used antagonistically.

Assertive: Assertiveness means inspiring others to be discrete and true about their interpretations, aspirations and emotional states, so that both parties can act applicably.

An assertive behaviour includes:

• Ability to express your wishes and thoughts

• Encouraging others as well to express their thoughts and wishes

• Listening to others point of view

• Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate responsibilities to others as well

• Appreciating others for their work

• Act contrite and concede for the mistakes you have done

• Maintain self – control

Advantages of being assertive:
• Relationships will improve

• Feeling of less frazzled

• You will become more confident

• You will become less aggrieved

Tips on how you can improve your assertive skills at workplace:

1. Respecting everyone
Respect is the foundation for any positive relation to be built. You ought to respect not only yourself as well as others feelings and thoughts.

2. Initiate with a captivating statement

You can begin your statements with any of the below mentioned statements:

• Passing a complementing to the other person: For example, thank you

• Apologizing: saying sorry for the mistakes you have made

• Agreeing: If you know the other person is right, always let them know that you are agreeing with what they are saying

• Conceding their opinions or feelings: For example, if you can see a person is frustrated from his emotions, you can ask them, “are you frustrated with something” or maybe, “is something bothering you”.

3. Stating your needs
If you cannot do a particular task, it is always better to tell them discretely but in a polite way, that does not make the other person fell offended.

For example: If you have been asked to do a task which is out of your Key responsibilities mentioned, simply answer, “ I am sorry sir, I am currently occupied with another important task. If it can wait, ill finish this task of mine and help you in completing the task”

4. Practice makes a man perfect
At times, you are faced with such situations that you cannot be assertive. Never mind, keep trying till you become perfect in being assertive.

5. Do not apologise for expressing what you want
Except for if you’re requesting for something that’s blatantly irrational, there’s no reason to feel mortified or embarrassed for articulating your needs. You need not apologize while you are making a request. Just wait to see how the other person retorts to your desires.

6. Display confidence in your body language and tone
When you share your view points with others, it is not possible that everybody will on the spot agree to your point of view. The best way that they will do to make you do what they want is that you give them a justification of why you want this to be done.

Hence you should have a strong reason along with confidence reflecting in the way you present your idea. If you do not have a good reason or you lack confidence, you might have to agree with what the other people are saying.

7. Persistence
It is not always that you get what you want. When you know you are right and are demanding for the right thing, be persistent in getting that particular thing or task done. Do not give up, just because others are showing you down.

The best way to deal with such situation while being assertive; is to stay cool, calm and composed while handling the situation rather then becoming aggressive about the whole thing.

For example, if you have proposed a project and it has been rejected by your immediate boss. Do not give up, saying that I tried. Instead you can share the project details with your senior manager and wait for his response.
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